Cobalt Starstrong the Singing Spaceman

I was sitting in the cockpit, coffee in my hand
Strumming on a G chord, nothing special planned
When the hum beneath the hull went quiet, lost its tone
And the coffee left the cup and headed out on its own
My boots came off the floor, my hat went to the ceiling
And the chair said goodbye — well, alright —
I guess this is the day the ship forgot
Which way was down and which was up and which was flight

Gravity's out and I'm down, (down), down
Down, (down), down, but I'm not on the ground
Everything's up, everything's floating around
Gravity's out and I'm down, down, down
(Down, down — way down — I'm down)

I grabbed the rail but the rail just spun me like a top
I kicked the wall to stop but the spinning didn't stop
My pick is in the ventilation shaft somewhere
My guitar's doing cartwheels and it doesn't even care
I tried to pour a drink — well, the drink poured me —
And I'd fix it but the toolbox has its own trajectory
And the wrench has got opinions about which way is "down"
And my boots are doing waltzes on the ceiling of this town
I call home — and it's kind of beautiful, I'm not gonna lie

Gravity's out and I'm down, (down), down
Down, (down), down, but I'm not on the ground
Everything's up, everything's floating around
Gravity's out and I'm down, down, down
(Down, down — way down — SO down)

But hold on — from up here
The ship looks like I've never seen her
The light comes through the porthole sideways
And the corridor curves like a river
I've walked this hall a thousand times
But I never saw the bend
I never saw how the metal catches starlight
When you're floating through instead of walking around
This dumb broken ship is the prettiest thing in the sector
When you see it from upside down

So I push off from the bulkhead and I FLY —
Doing somersaults for nobody, sailing shoulder-high
Through the engine room at seven knots of nothing
Past my boots, past my hat, past everything
I didn't know what the ship could be
Until the ship forgot how the gravity felt
I am the singing spaceman and I'm DOWN
I'm the freest thing this side of the belt

Gravity's out and I'm DOWN, (DOWN), DOWN
Down, down, down and I don't want the ground
Everything's up, everything's spinning around
Gravity's out and I'm down, (down), down!
Gravity's out and I'm DOWN!

On a world out past the Veil the ocean's warm and gold
The sand is white like sugar and the air is sweet and old
The waves come slow — an hour rolling crest to crest —
And the sunset lasts all day so the light is always west
I sat down where the gold met the white
And the water came and found my feet the way it always does
Unhurried, unimpressed by how far I'd come
Just the same old pull and hush, pull and hush

'Cause every planet with an ocean has a beach
And every beach has got a shore where the water learns to reach
And pull away and reach again — the oldest song I know
I've heard it sung on every world from here to the Cygnus glow
Every planet with an ocean has a beach
And I've sat on every one I've found and let the waves preach

On a moon out past the Shelf the ocean's under ice
But it punches through in geysers, throwing salt spray at the sky
And the sky's all gas giant — rings and storms from edge to edge —
A gas world made of amber light that swallows half the night
The shore is frost, the waves are vertical
But they crash the same — they crash the same —
Going out and coming back and going out again
Every ocean knows the game

'Cause every planet with an ocean has a beach
And every beach has got a shore where the water learns to reach
And pull away and reach again — the oldest song I know
I've heard it sung on every world from here to the Cygnus glow
Every planet with an ocean has a beach
And I've sat on every one I've found and let the waves preach

I keep looking for the beaches
'Cause the beach is where the going stops
The edge of every world I've walked
Where the land runs out and the big thing talks
And I'm small — one guy, one ship —
But the ocean doesn't care how far I've come
It just says sit down, you fool
Sit down, breathe, you're home

On the world I can't pronounce the ocean's got no sun
It's bioluminescent — makes its own light just for fun
The shore is black volcanic glass, the sky is black, the air is still
And the only brightness is the waves that glow and spill
In blue and green and violet like the ocean's dreaming out loud

Every planet with an ocean has a beach
And every beach has got a shore where the water learns to reach
And pull away and reach again — the oldest song I know
I've played it in a hundred keys from here to the Cygnus glow
Every planet with an ocean has a beach
And I sit down
And I sit down
And I'm home wherever the water meets the ground

My best friend on this ship is made of light
He stands about six-two and slightly blue
He walks through doors — I mean straight THROUGH the doors —
And once he stood inside the kitchen table for an hour
Before I said: hey, you're in the table
And he said: ah — so I am
And stepped out sideways through the wall
That's my buddy — that's my hologram

I'm friends with a hologram
He can't hold a wrench and he can't hold a hand
But he's always around when the night gets long
Friends with a hologram
He's made out of light but I'll tell you what —
Light's better company than none
And he's the best I've got

We tried to cook but he was standing in the stove
I said: you're ON FIRE — he said: I think we're fine
He forgets and puts his head out through the hull
Into the vacuum — smiling on the other side of the glass
He flickers when the power dips — just gone —
Mid-sentence, mid-laugh, mid-word —
Then he's back: what was I saying?
And I say: I don't remember either
And we start again — we always start again

I'm friends with a hologram
He can't hold a wrench and he can't hold a hand
But he's always around when the night gets long
Friends with a hologram
He's made out of light but I'll tell you what —
Light's better company than none
And he's the best I've got

There's a stretch between the Shelf and the Veil
Where the stars don't move for weeks
And I say hey into the dark
And he flickers on and says hey back
And we talk about nothing for an hour
He's heard the gold ocean story twice
He still laughs at the same part
And I don't know if that's programming
Or just what a good friend does

He tried to hand me the coffee this morning
Forgot again — his hand went through the cup
And through my hand — and we both just stopped
And he said: sorry — I keep forgetting
And I said: me too, pal — me too
'Cause I keep forgetting he's not solid
And I think that means he is

I'm friends with a hologram
He can't hold a wrench and he can't hold a hand
But he held the whole night up when the night got long
Friends with a hologram
He's made out of light — but so are stars
And I navigate by those
Friends with a hologram
He showed up at 3 AM and the dark was big
And that's as real as it gets

I docked at Port Iguana, plaza stones were baking
Local girls out on the promenade, basking
Curves like where a river bends, scales like emeralds in the making
Smile with a hundred teeth but my heart's the thing in danger
She waved me over, cool hand on the stone
And it felt like: welcome, little mammal
Come and sit beside a stranger
And I'd never felt a hand that cool before
Like the far side of the pillow, like a breeze off a silver moon
I've been warm my whole entire life
And I never knew that warm was wrong 'til June
On a reptile world showed me what I was missing

Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
Sun on their shoulders and the stars in their scales
Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
Slow in the morning, by the sunset you're infatuated
Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
I've been warm my whole life but I'm starting to think
Warm is overrated

She thinks it's hilarious I shiver at ninety-two
She's got twelve speeds and every one is smooth
She moves like water when the afternoon gets hot
I've got clumsy and clumsier — that's all I've got
She runs on sunlight, I run on sandwiches
She sees my heat like color, I just see a girl
Whose ancient golden eyes say: little mammal
You're the funniest thing in this world

Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
Sun on their shoulders and the stars in their scales
Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
Slow in the morning, by the sunset you're infatuated
Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
I've been warm my whole life but I'm starting to think
Warm is overrated

She walked me to the ship at sunset, air cooling down
She leaned against my arm — just for the warmth —
Sure, sure — just the warmth — and her scales
Caught the last light amber, copper, gold, and green
The most beautiful thing I've seen
Come back when the sun's out, mammal
Yes ma'am — yes ma'am I will

Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
Sun on their shoulders and the stars in their scales
Cold-blooded girls (Cold, cold blooded girls)
She leaned against my arm for the warmth
And the warmth was all I had to give
And if that's enough for a cold-blooded girl
That's the best reason to be warm I've ever lived

The last port's a week behind me now
The next one's just a number on the dash
And in between there's nothing but the nothing
And the soft sound of the nebula dust
Hushing on the hull
So faint you'd miss it if you were talking
But I'm not talking — haven't talked in days —
And when you get that quiet you start hearing
The ship, the dust, your own heart
Keeping time in the haze
Between the stars where nothing needs you
Nothing asks you anything at all

Hush now — hush now —
The dust is on the hull
Hush now — hush now —
The dark is wide and full
And I'm just sitting in the middle of it
Breathing with the ship
The quiet between stars
The quiet between stars

Nobody out here needs the singing spaceman
Nobody needs the grin, the bit, the act
It's just a man, a chair, the hum of the engine
And a billion miles of quiet at my back
And I'm not lonely — that's the thing I can't explain —
The dark out here has company in it
The dust was stars once, long ago
And the stars were dust before they lit

Hush now — hush now —
The dust is on the hull
Hush now — hush now —
The dark is wide and full
And I'm just sitting in the middle of it
Breathing with the ship
The quiet between stars
The quiet between stars

People ask me don't you get lonely
And I never know quite what to say
The hull hums and the dust brushes past
And my breathing's the loudest sound today
And that's alright — that's alright —
I think maybe this is what peace is
When there's nothing left to prove
And nowhere to be
And the dark just lets you sit

And maybe when I dock and play the fool
And surf the gravity and shoot the curl
I'm just spending all the noise I saved
Out here in the quietest corner of the worlds

Hush now — hush now —
The dust is on the hull
Hush now — hush now —
I'm alright, I'm alright
Just a man between the stars
With nothing but the dust
And the hum
And the night

Mack's on the line at the Fenner beacon
Ship like a needle, grin like a dare
I'm on the line beside him, hull still ticking
From the last run — haven't had time to repair
The buoy's out past the Shelf — first one to touch it
Turns around and burns back to the mark
We've done this fourteen times and we're seven-seven even
And the signal drops and we're gone into the dark

Deep space race — deep space race —
Pedal down on nothing, burning through the black
Deep space race — ain't no second place —
Just the stars going streaky and the hull fighting back

And there's a moment at the buoy when we're side by side
Both of us burning, both of us blind
With the g-force and the glare and the stupid giddy joy
Of two idiots going way too fast
For any sensible reason known to man or boy
And I see his face through the cockpit glass —
He's laughing — of course he's laughing —
And I'm laughing 'cause he's laughing
And we're both gonna die out here someday
But NOT TODAY — not today —

Deep space race — deep space race —
Pedal down on nothing, burning through the black
Deep space race — ain't no second place —
Just the stars going streaky and the hull fighting back

The beacon's up ahead, the finish line is close
He's half a nose in front, I'm burning everything
The hull is screaming, the dash is red
And I don't care, I don't care, I don't care

Deep space race — deep space race —
Pedal down on nothing, burning through the black
Deep space race — ain't no second place —
Just the stars going streaky and the hull fighting back

But I'm coming and I'm coming and I'm coming right back
This is what the engine's for
This is what the stars are for
This is what a friend is for —
Somebody to race into the dark

There's a junk station out past the Shelf
Where the salvage comes in on the tide
And a sorting robot works the yard
Bolts and scrap and whatever arrives
He wasn't built for anything but work
Utility model, nothing fancy, nothing new
'Til a freighter left a dog behind
And the dog didn't know what to do
So she followed the warmest thing she found
Which was him — his servos running hot —
And she curled up at his feet in the scrap yard
And he didn't mind because he couldn't mind
That's not a thing he's got

But the laughing robot and his dog
Are the strangest thing on the station line
The laughing robot and his dog
And nobody knows exactly when or why
The robot started laughing
But the dog wags every time
The laughing robot and his dog
The laughing robot and his dog

She started bringing him things from the yard
The way that dogs'll do — a bolt, a bone, a gear
And mostly it was junk, 'cause it's a junk yard,
That's all there is to bring around here
But one day she dragged in something strange
A twisted piece of metal that had caught the light
And his sorting algorithm couldn't place it
It wasn't scrap — it wasn't right —
It was beautiful and he didn't have a code for that
And the error in his processing
Came out like a sound
And the sound came out like laughing
And the dog started jumping all around

The laughing robot and his dog
The strangest thing on the station line
The laughing robot and his dog
Nobody knows exactly when or why
The robot started laughing
But the dog wags every time
The laughing robot and his dog
The laughing robot and his dog

And now it's a loop — she does a thing
He makes the sound — she wags her tail
He makes the sound again because the wagging
Is another thing his code can't file
Joy's an error in his system
And the error sounds like laughing
And the dog doesn't know he's made of metal
And he doesn't know she's just a dog
They're just two warm things in a cold yard
Making a sound that neither one
Was built to make

I saw them when I docked there for a patch job
The robot sorting scrap, the dog asleep
Right at his feet, her nose against his ankle
Where the servo's warm and the hum is deep
And a bolt fell off a pile and bonked her ear
And she jumped and he laughed and she wagged
And I stood there in the doorway of the junk yard
Watching two things love each other
That nobody told were allowed
And the foreman said they'd thought about a reset
Fix the glitch, get the program back in line
But every time they scheduled it
Somebody'd cancel it
And nobody could tell you why
But I can — I can tell you why —
You don't fix laughing
You just don't

The laughing robot and his dog
The best thing on the station line
The laughing robot and his dog
Nobody's gonna fix the glitch
Nobody's gonna change the code
The laughing robot and his dog
And the scrap yard's warmer than it ought to be
And the dog sleeps well
And the robot laughs
And that's the whole story
That's the whole story
And it's enough

I know what she looks like — you don't have to say it
Docked beside the new ones she's a bruise
Hull like a patchwork quilt, paint job like a rumor
She's the ship that every port would refuse
But I walk past the chrome and the carbon-composite
Past the ships that shine like they've got something to prove
And I put my hand on her hull and she's warm
'Cause the engine never fully cools
And I know that's a flaw
But it feels like a welcome back
It feels like the only thing I've known that's always warm

She's not much but she's mine
Every dent's a story, every patch is a year
She's not much but she's mine
The Tin Petrel — held together with stubbornness and gear
And she hums — Lord, she hums —
When the engine's right she hums like she means it
She's not much but she flies
She's not much but she's mine

The port-side thruster sticks — you've gotta kick it
Not hard, just right, just where the housing bends
The nav screen flickers when the cabin's cold
So I keep the cabin warm — we're both happier that way
There's a whistle in the starboard seal
I've looked for it for seven years and never found the spot
But I've learned to sleep right through it
And the night I DON'T hear it
That's the night I'll know something's wrong
'Cause that whistle's her breathing
And I'm listening for it all night long

She's not much but she's mine
Every dent's a story, every patch is a year
She's not much but she's mine
The Tin Petrel — held together with stubbornness and gear
And she hums — Lord, she hums —
When the engine's right she hums like she means it
She's not much but she flies
She's not much but she's mine

She held together past the Veil
When the scatter should have shredded us to dust
The hull rang like a bell but the hull held
And I don't know if that's engineering or trust
But the engine turned over when it had no right to
And the air stayed in and the dark stayed out
And I sat in the cockpit shaking
And she hummed — she just hummed —
Like nothing had happened
Like keeping me alive
Was just the thing she does

She's not much but she's mine
Every dent's a story, every patch is a year
She's not much but she's mine
And I'll fly her 'til one of us falls apart
And even then I'll patch whatever's broken
The way I've always patched whatever's broken
'Cause that's the deal — that's what mine means —
She's not much
But Lord, she flies
She's not much
But she's mine

I'm out on the hull with a wrench and a tether
Patching up a microcrack along the dorsal fin
The stars are close enough to lick out here
And my helmet fogs up from the grin
'Cause I'm singing — yeah, I'm singing —
Belting like a fool into the black
And the sound goes: absolutely nowhere
Hits the glass and bounces back
Into my own ears — just me and me —
The universe's smallest audience
At the universe's biggest show

Singing in the vacuum and the vacuum doesn't mind
'Cause the vacuum can't hear a single thing
Sound don't carry where there's nothing there to carry it
But I carry it — so I sing
Singing in the vacuum
Nobody can hear me so I let it ALL go
Every note I've got, every song I know
Singing in the vacuum
The greatest show that no one will ever know

I do my best work out here honestly
The high notes come out better when there's nobody to wince
I've done the whole first album start to finish
Floating upside down against the rinse
Of starlight on the hull — I hit the big notes
The ones I'd never try at port with people around
And they're PERFECT out here — every one —
'Cause a song with no witness makes no sound
So technically I've never sung a wrong note on a spacewalk
And I'm sticking with that logic 'til I'm in the ground

Singing in the vacuum and the vacuum doesn't mind
'Cause the vacuum can't hear a single thing
Sound don't carry where there's nothing there to carry it
But I carry it — so I sing
Singing in the vacuum
Nobody can hear me so I let it ALL go
Every note I've got, every song I know
Singing in the vacuum
The greatest show that no one will ever know

And I know — I know — it's pointless
The physics is the physics and the void is deaf
But my body won't be quiet when the stars are this close
I've got lungs and I've got what's left
Of every song that ever made me feel like this
And "this" is: floating in the biggest room there is
With no walls and no floor and no ceiling
And my chest just opens up and won't stop singing
Call it stupid — call it holy —
I don't know the difference and I never did
The silence is enormous
And I'm loud
And I'm one small loud thing
And that's my whole bid

The best part is the song just — disappears
It hits the helmet glass and that's its life
Born and gone in the same breath
No recording and no proof — just me, the wrench, the knife
Of starlight on the visor
And a melody that lived for half a second
In the space between my mouth and the glass
And died happy — I like to think it died happy —
Every note a little life that didn't last
And didn't need to
And I'm already singing the next one

Singing in the vacuum and the vacuum doesn't care
And I don't care that it doesn't care
Sound don't carry but my heart does
So I carry every song out here
Singing in the vacuum
I'm the greatest singer in the void — undefeated —
'Cause a song no one can hear is a song no one can beat
Singing in the vacuum
Just me and the wrench and the stars at my feet
And a voice going nowhere
And meaning everything

(the universe's smallest concert)
(sold out every night)

I grew up on a world with just one sun
A little yellow star that didn't show off
One town, one road, one stretch of rocky shore
You could see the whole sky from the roof
And I could name every constellation by the time I was eleven
And I'd named them all so I was done
I told my mother I was leaving
And she said: I know — you've been leaving since you were born
And the day I hit the black I swore
I'd never need a sky that small again

But one of these days
One of these days
I'll find a place with just one sun going down
A short walk to the water and no numbers on the dash
One of these days I'll put the ship down
On a world that's small enough to learn by heart
One of these days
But not today
Not today

The daydream comes on in the quiet stretches
Somewhere past the Shelf when the stars go still
I'm in the cockpit and my eyes go soft
And there's a porch — there's always a porch —
And a single sun that takes its time with the evening
And water close enough to hear from where I'm sitting
And nowhere to be — that's the part that gets me —
Nowhere to be tomorrow or the day after
Just the sound of the water and the color of the going-down
And a sky I've seen so many times
I don't need to watch it anymore
But I watch it anyway

One of these days
One of these days
I'll find a place with just one sun going down
A short walk to the water and no numbers on the dash
One of these days I'll put the ship down
On a world that's small enough to learn by heart
One of these days
But not today
Not today

And here's the thing I'll never say at port —
The porch I keep imagining
Has the same light as the one I ran from
Same yellow sun, same rocky shore
Same sky you could learn all the way across
I went to every beach the galaxy's got
And the dream my brain keeps building
When I ask it to build me paradise
Looks like the place I couldn't wait to leave
And that's — I don't know what that is —
Funny, maybe
Or maybe that's just what home means
You can't know it 'til you've left it
And you can't want it 'til you've seen
Everything that isn't it
And realized the shape of what you're missing
Was always one sun
And a short walk to the shore

But the Petrel's humming and the hull is warm
And Mack still owes me one more race
And there's a port out past the Veil I've never seen
And a star I've never sat under
And a cold-blooded girl who told me to come back when the sun's out
And I said yes ma'am — and I meant it —
So not yet — not yet —
The daydream folds back up and goes in my pocket
Right next to the photograph I keep on the dash
Of a little yellow sun over a rocky shore
That I left when I was young enough to think
That leaving was the whole adventure
Turns out the whole adventure
Is learning what to come home to
And I'm still learning
But one of these days

One of these days
One of these days
A place with just one sun going down
A short walk to the water and no numbers on the dash
One of these days I'll put her down
On a world that's small enough to learn
And I'll sit on that porch
And I'll watch that sun
And I won't go anywhere
And that'll be the biggest thing I've ever done
One of these days
One of these days
(but not today)
(the engine hums)
(the dash lights up)
(where to next?)
(where to next?)