What does a pop star make after she's declared herself? Star-Shaker's second album is moodier, more circular — exploring wrong lessons that keep you singing, free fall without gravity to orient by, and the beautiful, dangerous question of what your heart looks like when it breaks into a spectrum.
Tracks
1One Crazy RideYouTube
I had a coat on and a plan to leave
And then your hand against the viewport stars
And everything I'd built came undone
And that was six months ago
And I'm still here — are you still here? —
And I keep waking up beside you
With the same question on my chest
Is this one crazy ride for six months
Or is it the rest of my life?
'Cause I need to know which way to hold it
Gently or with everything I've got
Is this the kind of heat that passes
Or the kind that never stops?
Is this one crazy ride for six months
(One crazy ride)
Or is it the rest of my life?
(The rest of my life)
And why does either answer
Scare me just the same tonight?
Your scale polish is beside my scale polish
Your shed skin's tangled up with mine
You hum off-key while making thermwine
And I've memorized the time
You fall asleep — it's always twenty minutes
After you say you're not tired yet
And these are the kinds of things you learn
When the net has already caught you
But the heart keeps asking: is this the whole thing
Or just the start?
And what if wanting both
Is just another way of being scared?
Is this one crazy ride for six months
Or is it the rest of my life?
'Cause I need to know which way to hold it
Gently or with everything I've got
Is this the kind of heat that passes
Or the kind that never stops?
Is this one crazy ride for six months
(One crazy ride)
Or is it the rest of my life?
(The rest of my life)
And why does either answer
Scare me just the same tonight?
You caught me mapping exit routes last Thursday
Not because I want to leave
But because I've never stayed in anything
Without knowing how to grieve it when it's gone
And you just closed the map and kissed my hand
And said: I'm not a season
I'm not going to disappear on you in the night
And I wanted to believe you
God, I wanted to believe you
And I think I almost did
Is this one crazy ride for six months
Or is it the rest of my life?
I've stopped needing to know the answer
Maybe the not-knowing is the whole ride
And the ride is all I've got
One crazy ride
(One crazy ride)
The rest of my life
(The rest of my life)
What if they're the same thing?
What if they're the same thing?
Your hand against the stars
And then your hand against the viewport stars
And everything I'd built came undone
And that was six months ago
And I'm still here — are you still here? —
And I keep waking up beside you
With the same question on my chest
Is this one crazy ride for six months
Or is it the rest of my life?
'Cause I need to know which way to hold it
Gently or with everything I've got
Is this the kind of heat that passes
Or the kind that never stops?
Is this one crazy ride for six months
(One crazy ride)
Or is it the rest of my life?
(The rest of my life)
And why does either answer
Scare me just the same tonight?
Your scale polish is beside my scale polish
Your shed skin's tangled up with mine
You hum off-key while making thermwine
And I've memorized the time
You fall asleep — it's always twenty minutes
After you say you're not tired yet
And these are the kinds of things you learn
When the net has already caught you
But the heart keeps asking: is this the whole thing
Or just the start?
And what if wanting both
Is just another way of being scared?
Is this one crazy ride for six months
Or is it the rest of my life?
'Cause I need to know which way to hold it
Gently or with everything I've got
Is this the kind of heat that passes
Or the kind that never stops?
Is this one crazy ride for six months
(One crazy ride)
Or is it the rest of my life?
(The rest of my life)
And why does either answer
Scare me just the same tonight?
You caught me mapping exit routes last Thursday
Not because I want to leave
But because I've never stayed in anything
Without knowing how to grieve it when it's gone
And you just closed the map and kissed my hand
And said: I'm not a season
I'm not going to disappear on you in the night
And I wanted to believe you
God, I wanted to believe you
And I think I almost did
Is this one crazy ride for six months
Or is it the rest of my life?
I've stopped needing to know the answer
Maybe the not-knowing is the whole ride
And the ride is all I've got
One crazy ride
(One crazy ride)
The rest of my life
(The rest of my life)
What if they're the same thing?
What if they're the same thing?
Your hand against the stars
2Grain of SandYouTube
I'm on a station I can't pronounce the name of
Past the Veil, past the routes I know
And the viewport in the loading bay
Is bigger than my apartment back home
And I wasn't looking for anything
I was just killing time before I had to go
And I looked up — and there it was —
All of it — every light that's ever been
Doing nothing, asking nothing
And I felt so small
And it was the best I've felt in years
I am the grain of sand
I am the grain of sand
On a shore so wide it doesn't have a name
And the wave doesn't know me
And the wind doesn't know me
And I don't have to be a flame
I can just be the grain of sand
(Grain of sand)
Small enough to finally breathe
I am the grain of sand
And that is enough for me
Last week I cried over something
I can't even remember now
And it was the biggest thing in my world
For a whole afternoon — the whole sky
Was the shape of that one feeling
And I built a week around it
And now I'm sitting on a cargo crate
And a nebula the size of a civilization
Is hanging in the viewport like a curtain
And it was here before my world had a name
And it doesn't know about my week
And it doesn't know about my cry
And I'm not embarrassed — I'm relieved —
It's so much lighter
When the thing you're carrying
Turns out to be the size it always was
I am the grain of sand
I am the grain of sand
On a shore so wide it doesn't have a name
And the wave doesn't know me
And the wind doesn't know me
And I don't have to be a flame
I can just be the grain of sand
(Grain of sand)
Small enough to finally breathe
I am the grain of sand
And that is enough for me
(And it's grains all the way down
And all the way up —
My world was a grain of sand
Orbiting a sun that was a grain of sand
In a galaxy that was a grain of sand)
I am the grain of sand
And so is everyone I've ever loved
And so is every song I've ever sang
And the smallness doesn't cancel out the meaning
A grain of sand still catches the light
I am the grain of sand
(Grain of sand)
And the shore goes on forever
And I am so small and I am so here
And that is enough
That has always been enough
I am the grain of sand
Past the Veil, past the routes I know
And the viewport in the loading bay
Is bigger than my apartment back home
And I wasn't looking for anything
I was just killing time before I had to go
And I looked up — and there it was —
All of it — every light that's ever been
Doing nothing, asking nothing
And I felt so small
And it was the best I've felt in years
I am the grain of sand
I am the grain of sand
On a shore so wide it doesn't have a name
And the wave doesn't know me
And the wind doesn't know me
And I don't have to be a flame
I can just be the grain of sand
(Grain of sand)
Small enough to finally breathe
I am the grain of sand
And that is enough for me
Last week I cried over something
I can't even remember now
And it was the biggest thing in my world
For a whole afternoon — the whole sky
Was the shape of that one feeling
And I built a week around it
And now I'm sitting on a cargo crate
And a nebula the size of a civilization
Is hanging in the viewport like a curtain
And it was here before my world had a name
And it doesn't know about my week
And it doesn't know about my cry
And I'm not embarrassed — I'm relieved —
It's so much lighter
When the thing you're carrying
Turns out to be the size it always was
I am the grain of sand
I am the grain of sand
On a shore so wide it doesn't have a name
And the wave doesn't know me
And the wind doesn't know me
And I don't have to be a flame
I can just be the grain of sand
(Grain of sand)
Small enough to finally breathe
I am the grain of sand
And that is enough for me
(And it's grains all the way down
And all the way up —
My world was a grain of sand
Orbiting a sun that was a grain of sand
In a galaxy that was a grain of sand)
I am the grain of sand
And so is everyone I've ever loved
And so is every song I've ever sang
And the smallness doesn't cancel out the meaning
A grain of sand still catches the light
I am the grain of sand
(Grain of sand)
And the shore goes on forever
And I am so small and I am so here
And that is enough
That has always been enough
I am the grain of sand
3Two ReasonsYouTube
Everybody's got a list
Everybody's got a spreadsheet and a plan
Everybody's weighing up the odds
With a sensible expression and a careful hand
And I've tried that — I've sat with the columns
I've done the math, I've run the projections twice
And every time I get to the bottom
The answer's the same: the math is nice
But the math has never once
Made me walk through a door
Two reasons is all you need
Two reasons is all you need
One to go and one to not look back
Two reasons and the rest is just the fear
Dressed up like a spreadsheet
Two reasons is all you need
(All you need)
One in each hand and you walk
Two reasons is all you need
Kess told me once back on Sarrellex
She said: if your tail's already off the ledge
Your body made the choice
And your brain's just catching up at the edge
And she was right — she's always right —
The body knows before the list is done
And I can feel my tail over the ledge right now
And my claws are lifting one by one
Two reasons is all you need
Two reasons is all you need
One to go and one to not look back
Two reasons and the rest is just the fear
Dressed up like a spreadsheet
Two reasons is all you need
(All you need)
One in each hand and you walk
Two reasons is all you need
They said: what about the risk?
I said: what about the not?
They said: what about the fall?
I said: what about the rot
Of standing on a ledge forever
Counting reasons not to leap?
I'd rather have two good ones
Than a hundred reasons to stay asleep
And reason number one is:
Something out there has my name on it
And reason number two is:
I will never know unless I'm gone
And that's enough — that's always been enough —
Two reasons and the rest is just the weight
Of everyone else's careful
And I was never built to wait
Two reasons is all you need
Two reasons is all you need
One to go and one to not look back
Two reasons and the rest is just the fear
Dressed up like a spreadsheet
Two reasons is all you need
(All you need)
One in each hand
Tail off the ledge
Two reasons
Two reasons
Let's go
Everybody's got a spreadsheet and a plan
Everybody's weighing up the odds
With a sensible expression and a careful hand
And I've tried that — I've sat with the columns
I've done the math, I've run the projections twice
And every time I get to the bottom
The answer's the same: the math is nice
But the math has never once
Made me walk through a door
Two reasons is all you need
Two reasons is all you need
One to go and one to not look back
Two reasons and the rest is just the fear
Dressed up like a spreadsheet
Two reasons is all you need
(All you need)
One in each hand and you walk
Two reasons is all you need
Kess told me once back on Sarrellex
She said: if your tail's already off the ledge
Your body made the choice
And your brain's just catching up at the edge
And she was right — she's always right —
The body knows before the list is done
And I can feel my tail over the ledge right now
And my claws are lifting one by one
Two reasons is all you need
Two reasons is all you need
One to go and one to not look back
Two reasons and the rest is just the fear
Dressed up like a spreadsheet
Two reasons is all you need
(All you need)
One in each hand and you walk
Two reasons is all you need
They said: what about the risk?
I said: what about the not?
They said: what about the fall?
I said: what about the rot
Of standing on a ledge forever
Counting reasons not to leap?
I'd rather have two good ones
Than a hundred reasons to stay asleep
And reason number one is:
Something out there has my name on it
And reason number two is:
I will never know unless I'm gone
And that's enough — that's always been enough —
Two reasons and the rest is just the weight
Of everyone else's careful
And I was never built to wait
Two reasons is all you need
Two reasons is all you need
One to go and one to not look back
Two reasons and the rest is just the fear
Dressed up like a spreadsheet
Two reasons is all you need
(All you need)
One in each hand
Tail off the ledge
Two reasons
Two reasons
Let's go
4Which UniverseYouTube
I woke up in a bed I chose
In a station I chose to be on
Next to someone I chose to love
Wearing last night's clothes with one shoe gone
And nothing — not one thing about this morning —
Would make sense to the girl
I was four years ago
She'd walk in and look around and say:
Who lives here? And I'd say: I think I do?
I think this is mine?
None of the furniture matches the plan
Which universe am I in?
'Cause this isn't the one I ordered
Which universe am I in?
I don't recognize the borders
And the girl who drew the map
Must have drawn a different one
Which universe am I in?
(Which universe?)
And do I get to stay in this one?
I was supposed to be somewhere sensible
With a steady orbit and a savings plan
Not standing barefoot on a station floor
At noon with thermwine in my hand
Talking to a stranger about gravity
Like gravity's a thing you'd have opinions on
But I do — apparently — I have opinions now
About gravity and art and which direction's gone
And which direction's forward
And nothing about my trajectory
Would satisfy a graph
Which universe am I in?
'Cause this isn't the one I ordered
Which universe am I in?
I don't recognize the borders
And the girl who drew the map
Must have drawn a different one
Which universe am I in?
(Which universe?)
And do I get to stay in this one?
And sometimes I catch a glimpse —
In a viewport reflection, in a strange light —
Of the other version, the planned one
The girl who stayed, the girl who was right
On schedule — and she looks fine —
She looks so fine —
But she's wearing both shoes
And her furniture matches
And I don't think she's ever had
An opinion about gravity
And I don't want her life
But I wonder if she wants mine
The best things in my life
Are things I never would have picked
From a list — I'd have walked right past them
Looking for the thing I'd predicted
And the thing I predicted was smaller
And the thing I predicted was safe
And the thing I got was this:
A bed I chose, a love I chose
A morning I can't explain
A universe that isn't on any map I made
And my feet are bare and my shoe is gone
And I'm late for something I can't name
And I think this might be the right one
I think this might be the right one
Which universe am I in?
'Cause this isn't the one I ordered
Which universe am I in?
I don't recognize the borders
But the girl who drew the map —
I love her but she didn't know
What I know now
Which universe am I in?
(Which universe?)
I don't know
But I'm keeping it
I'm keeping this one
Which universe am I in?
I don't even care
I'm keeping it
In a station I chose to be on
Next to someone I chose to love
Wearing last night's clothes with one shoe gone
And nothing — not one thing about this morning —
Would make sense to the girl
I was four years ago
She'd walk in and look around and say:
Who lives here? And I'd say: I think I do?
I think this is mine?
None of the furniture matches the plan
Which universe am I in?
'Cause this isn't the one I ordered
Which universe am I in?
I don't recognize the borders
And the girl who drew the map
Must have drawn a different one
Which universe am I in?
(Which universe?)
And do I get to stay in this one?
I was supposed to be somewhere sensible
With a steady orbit and a savings plan
Not standing barefoot on a station floor
At noon with thermwine in my hand
Talking to a stranger about gravity
Like gravity's a thing you'd have opinions on
But I do — apparently — I have opinions now
About gravity and art and which direction's gone
And which direction's forward
And nothing about my trajectory
Would satisfy a graph
Which universe am I in?
'Cause this isn't the one I ordered
Which universe am I in?
I don't recognize the borders
And the girl who drew the map
Must have drawn a different one
Which universe am I in?
(Which universe?)
And do I get to stay in this one?
And sometimes I catch a glimpse —
In a viewport reflection, in a strange light —
Of the other version, the planned one
The girl who stayed, the girl who was right
On schedule — and she looks fine —
She looks so fine —
But she's wearing both shoes
And her furniture matches
And I don't think she's ever had
An opinion about gravity
And I don't want her life
But I wonder if she wants mine
The best things in my life
Are things I never would have picked
From a list — I'd have walked right past them
Looking for the thing I'd predicted
And the thing I predicted was smaller
And the thing I predicted was safe
And the thing I got was this:
A bed I chose, a love I chose
A morning I can't explain
A universe that isn't on any map I made
And my feet are bare and my shoe is gone
And I'm late for something I can't name
And I think this might be the right one
I think this might be the right one
Which universe am I in?
'Cause this isn't the one I ordered
Which universe am I in?
I don't recognize the borders
But the girl who drew the map —
I love her but she didn't know
What I know now
Which universe am I in?
(Which universe?)
I don't know
But I'm keeping it
I'm keeping this one
Which universe am I in?
I don't even care
I'm keeping it
5I'll Be GoneYouTube
Well the Heffen boys are cute
I really dig their fluffy tails
And the Lintar guys when they float on by
How I love their fins and scales
The Lapine boys'll hop right up
And twitch their little nose at you
And before you know it you're in love
With those long ears and those big soft shoes
But I'll be gone before the suns come up
I'll be gone before the suns come up
I've got a show on another station
And a ship that doesn't stop
Kiss me quick 'cause I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
(Gone gone gone before the suns come up!)
I met an Avian on the Tensher Ring
Who fanned his feathers out like so
And the Ungulate who bought me thermwine
With his dark eyes and his curving horns
I've been kissed by a Doraspian boy
All flowers where his mouth should be
And I swear those petals on my cheek
Were the softest thing I'd ever felt on me
But I'll be gone before the suns come up
I'll be gone before the suns come up
I've got a song I haven't written yet
In a system I ain't seen
Love me now 'cause I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
(Gone gone gone before the suns come up!)
And an insectoid boy with his four long arms
Held me all at once — oh my!
And the S'rellick boys back home on Sarrellex
Run warm in the summertime
But the cutest thing in all of space
Is the way they look up at me
When I'm singing on that stage
Like I'm the only star they'll ever need
And maybe I am — for tonight!
But I'll be gone before the suns come up
I'll be gone before the suns come up
There's a whole galaxy I haven't tasted
And my blood is running hot
Hold me tight 'cause I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
(Gone gone gone!) Before the suns come up!
(Gone gone gone!) Before the suns come up!
Kiss me quick
Love me now
Hold me tight
I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
I really dig their fluffy tails
And the Lintar guys when they float on by
How I love their fins and scales
The Lapine boys'll hop right up
And twitch their little nose at you
And before you know it you're in love
With those long ears and those big soft shoes
But I'll be gone before the suns come up
I'll be gone before the suns come up
I've got a show on another station
And a ship that doesn't stop
Kiss me quick 'cause I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
(Gone gone gone before the suns come up!)
I met an Avian on the Tensher Ring
Who fanned his feathers out like so
And the Ungulate who bought me thermwine
With his dark eyes and his curving horns
I've been kissed by a Doraspian boy
All flowers where his mouth should be
And I swear those petals on my cheek
Were the softest thing I'd ever felt on me
But I'll be gone before the suns come up
I'll be gone before the suns come up
I've got a song I haven't written yet
In a system I ain't seen
Love me now 'cause I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
(Gone gone gone before the suns come up!)
And an insectoid boy with his four long arms
Held me all at once — oh my!
And the S'rellick boys back home on Sarrellex
Run warm in the summertime
But the cutest thing in all of space
Is the way they look up at me
When I'm singing on that stage
Like I'm the only star they'll ever need
And maybe I am — for tonight!
But I'll be gone before the suns come up
I'll be gone before the suns come up
There's a whole galaxy I haven't tasted
And my blood is running hot
Hold me tight 'cause I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
(Gone gone gone!) Before the suns come up!
(Gone gone gone!) Before the suns come up!
Kiss me quick
Love me now
Hold me tight
I'll be gone
Before the suns come up
6Across the GapYouTube
I found a note I left myself
Tucked in the pocket of a coat I haven't worn
Since the tour before the last one
Since before I learned the thing
That I was trying to learn
When I wrote it
And it said: don't forget to eat
And it said: the cold won't last
And it said: you're better than the show on Tensher Ring
Let that one go — it's past
And I held the little scrap of paper
And I wanted to reach back
Through the months, through the miles
Through the skins I've shed since then
And say: you were right
And also: I'm sorry
I wasn't kinder to you when
Talking to myself across the gap
Between the girl I was and the girl I am
Leaving little notes like bread crumbs
Hoping I'll understand
Talking to myself across the gap
(Across the gap)
The only conversation
Where both voices are my own
And neither one can hear the other
But neither one's alone
I left a message on my recorder
Sometime last year — I don't remember when
I said: if you're hearing this
You made it through
Whatever it was — you're here again
And I played it back this morning
In a hotel room I'll never see twice
And the voice that I was using then
Sounded so tired and so sure
That the girl on the other end
Would need to hear those words
And she did — and I did —
I just didn't know yet that the girl was me
Talking to myself across the gap
Between the girl I was and the girl I am
Leaving little notes like bread crumbs
Hoping I'll understand
Talking to myself across the gap
(Across the gap)
And the kindest thing I've ever heard
Was something I said to myself
Before I knew I'd need it
On a night I didn't know was coming
In a skin I hadn't grown yet
And I look back now at who I was
A year ago, two years, five
How bright your scales would get
How loud your voice would carry
How the cold you thought would kill you
Was just a season — just a night
And you were so hard on yourself
For things that didn't matter
And I know — because I'm still
So hard on myself right now
For things that the next me
Will look back on and forgive
The way I've forgiven the last me
The way I'll always forgive her
Because she was doing her best
And so am I
And so will I
Talking to myself across the gap
Between the girl I was and the girl I am
Leaving little notes like bread crumbs
Hoping she'll understand
Talking to myself across the gap
(Across the gap)
The girl behind me left me what I needed
The girl ahead of me will be so kind
And I'm standing in the middle
Leaving notes for both of them
Talking to myself across the gap
Talking to myself across the gap
And the gap is where the love is
The gap is where the love is
Between who I was
And who I'll be
Tucked in the pocket of a coat I haven't worn
Since the tour before the last one
Since before I learned the thing
That I was trying to learn
When I wrote it
And it said: don't forget to eat
And it said: the cold won't last
And it said: you're better than the show on Tensher Ring
Let that one go — it's past
And I held the little scrap of paper
And I wanted to reach back
Through the months, through the miles
Through the skins I've shed since then
And say: you were right
And also: I'm sorry
I wasn't kinder to you when
Talking to myself across the gap
Between the girl I was and the girl I am
Leaving little notes like bread crumbs
Hoping I'll understand
Talking to myself across the gap
(Across the gap)
The only conversation
Where both voices are my own
And neither one can hear the other
But neither one's alone
I left a message on my recorder
Sometime last year — I don't remember when
I said: if you're hearing this
You made it through
Whatever it was — you're here again
And I played it back this morning
In a hotel room I'll never see twice
And the voice that I was using then
Sounded so tired and so sure
That the girl on the other end
Would need to hear those words
And she did — and I did —
I just didn't know yet that the girl was me
Talking to myself across the gap
Between the girl I was and the girl I am
Leaving little notes like bread crumbs
Hoping I'll understand
Talking to myself across the gap
(Across the gap)
And the kindest thing I've ever heard
Was something I said to myself
Before I knew I'd need it
On a night I didn't know was coming
In a skin I hadn't grown yet
And I look back now at who I was
A year ago, two years, five
How bright your scales would get
How loud your voice would carry
How the cold you thought would kill you
Was just a season — just a night
And you were so hard on yourself
For things that didn't matter
And I know — because I'm still
So hard on myself right now
For things that the next me
Will look back on and forgive
The way I've forgiven the last me
The way I'll always forgive her
Because she was doing her best
And so am I
And so will I
Talking to myself across the gap
Between the girl I was and the girl I am
Leaving little notes like bread crumbs
Hoping she'll understand
Talking to myself across the gap
(Across the gap)
The girl behind me left me what I needed
The girl ahead of me will be so kind
And I'm standing in the middle
Leaving notes for both of them
Talking to myself across the gap
Talking to myself across the gap
And the gap is where the love is
The gap is where the love is
Between who I was
And who I'll be
7Always a Wave (But Never the Same)YouTube
The doors open and the air is new
It hits my face before my eyes adjust
Every world smells different
Before it looks like anything
This one's salt and copper
The last one was dust
And the one before that
Smelled like something blooming
After a long rain on a world
Where it hadn't rained in years
And I stood there breathing in
Before I'd even looked around
The way I always do
The way I always will
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
It's always the pull and the rush and the fall
It's always a wave
(Never the same wave)
And it breaks the same way every time
And it's brand new every time it breaks
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
I keep finding water
On every world I visit
It's never the same color twice
This one's black and this one's gold
And the one on Tensher Ring
Ran clear as glass beneath a violet sky
But I always end up standing at the edge
With my feet getting cold
Watching it come in
Watching it go back out
And the feeling in my chest
Doesn't have a name
But it's there every time
The same feeling
At a different shore
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
It's always the pull and the rush and the fall
It's always a wave
(Never the same wave)
And it breaks the same way every time
And it's brand new every time it breaks
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
And I used to think I was looking
For the place that would be different
The world that would crack me open
In a way no world had before
But it turns out the cracking open
Is the same every time
It's just me standing somewhere
With the air still new against my face
Letting it in
Letting the same feeling find me
In a brand new place
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
It's always the pull and the rush and the fall
It's always a wave
(Never the same wave)
And I'm never the same girl
Standing at the edge
But I'm always standing at the edge
And the water always comes
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
Never the same wave
(But it's always a wave)
It hits my face before my eyes adjust
Every world smells different
Before it looks like anything
This one's salt and copper
The last one was dust
And the one before that
Smelled like something blooming
After a long rain on a world
Where it hadn't rained in years
And I stood there breathing in
Before I'd even looked around
The way I always do
The way I always will
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
It's always the pull and the rush and the fall
It's always a wave
(Never the same wave)
And it breaks the same way every time
And it's brand new every time it breaks
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
I keep finding water
On every world I visit
It's never the same color twice
This one's black and this one's gold
And the one on Tensher Ring
Ran clear as glass beneath a violet sky
But I always end up standing at the edge
With my feet getting cold
Watching it come in
Watching it go back out
And the feeling in my chest
Doesn't have a name
But it's there every time
The same feeling
At a different shore
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
It's always the pull and the rush and the fall
It's always a wave
(Never the same wave)
And it breaks the same way every time
And it's brand new every time it breaks
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
And I used to think I was looking
For the place that would be different
The world that would crack me open
In a way no world had before
But it turns out the cracking open
Is the same every time
It's just me standing somewhere
With the air still new against my face
Letting it in
Letting the same feeling find me
In a brand new place
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
It's always the pull and the rush and the fall
It's always a wave
(Never the same wave)
And I'm never the same girl
Standing at the edge
But I'm always standing at the edge
And the water always comes
It's always a wave
But it's never the same wave
Never the same wave
(But it's always a wave)
8Stronger Than the ShellYouTube
I can see it in the way you hold yourself
Like you're keeping something folded in
Like there's something bigger underneath
That you haven't let begin
And you keep your edges tight
And you keep your breathing small
And you think the walls around you
Are the only shape you'll ever fill
But I've been where you are
And the walls were never as thick
As I believed
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
You're bigger than the shape you're in
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
And the breaking out is not the end
It's where you begin
(It's where you begin)
You're stronger than the shell
Somebody told you once
That the safe thing was to stay
Somebody drew a line and said
This is as far as you're allowed to go today
And you believed them
Because they were bigger
And the world outside was cold
And the shape they put you in
Was warm enough to live inside
If you didn't move too much
But you keep moving — don't you —
Even when you try to stop
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
You're bigger than the shape you're in
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
And the breaking out is not the end
It's where you begin
(It's where you begin)
You're stronger than the shell
And I know what it sounds like
From inside — I know —
The crack sounds like the whole world
Coming apart
And everyone outside will say
Be careful, be careful
You'll hurt yourself
But the hurt of staying in
Is bigger than the hurt of breaking through
They just can't see it
Because the hurt of staying in
Doesn't make a sound
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
You're bigger than the shape you're in
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
And I know because I broke mine too
And the air on the other side
Was colder than I thought
And brighter than I thought
And bigger than I thought
And I stood there shaking
And I didn't know what I was yet
But I was out
And out was everything
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
(Stronger than the shell)
You're bigger than the shape you're in
(Bigger than the shape)
And the breaking is the bravest thing
You'll ever do
You're stronger than the shell
You're stronger than the shell
And I'll be here
When you come through
Like you're keeping something folded in
Like there's something bigger underneath
That you haven't let begin
And you keep your edges tight
And you keep your breathing small
And you think the walls around you
Are the only shape you'll ever fill
But I've been where you are
And the walls were never as thick
As I believed
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
You're bigger than the shape you're in
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
And the breaking out is not the end
It's where you begin
(It's where you begin)
You're stronger than the shell
Somebody told you once
That the safe thing was to stay
Somebody drew a line and said
This is as far as you're allowed to go today
And you believed them
Because they were bigger
And the world outside was cold
And the shape they put you in
Was warm enough to live inside
If you didn't move too much
But you keep moving — don't you —
Even when you try to stop
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
You're bigger than the shape you're in
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
And the breaking out is not the end
It's where you begin
(It's where you begin)
You're stronger than the shell
And I know what it sounds like
From inside — I know —
The crack sounds like the whole world
Coming apart
And everyone outside will say
Be careful, be careful
You'll hurt yourself
But the hurt of staying in
Is bigger than the hurt of breaking through
They just can't see it
Because the hurt of staying in
Doesn't make a sound
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
You're bigger than the shape you're in
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
And I know because I broke mine too
And the air on the other side
Was colder than I thought
And brighter than I thought
And bigger than I thought
And I stood there shaking
And I didn't know what I was yet
But I was out
And out was everything
You're stronger than the shell that holds you
(Stronger than the shell)
You're bigger than the shape you're in
(Bigger than the shape)
And the breaking is the bravest thing
You'll ever do
You're stronger than the shell
You're stronger than the shell
And I'll be here
When you come through
9Chasing Your GhostYouTube
You've been gone a full year now
And I've heard more from you this year
Than in the last ten put together (put together)
Little clips keep surfacing
On stations I've never been to
Someone finds a recording
In a dusty archive and puts it out
And there you are — your voice —
Saying something I'd never heard you say
And I'm leaning in so close
Like you're about to tell me everything
Like you're right here (right here)
But you're not here
I'm chasing your ghost
Through every frequency and file
Chasing your ghost (chasing your ghost)
And you keep showing up
In places you've never been
And I keep finding you
In rooms you never walked in
Chasing your ghost
(And you're closer now than when you were alive)
Chasing your ghost
Someone posted an interview today
You must have done it decades back
Your voice sounded younger than I ever knew it
You were laughing about a song
I've listened to a thousand times (a thousand times)
And hearing you laugh about it
Made it new again — made it hurt again —
Like the first time it found me
On Sarrellex as a hatchling
Pressed up to a speaker
With my frills wide open
And no idea what you were doing to me
I'm chasing your ghost
Through every frequency and file
Chasing your ghost (chasing your ghost)
And I keep turning corners
Expecting to see you there
And instead there's just another scrap
Of something you left behind
Without knowing you were leaving it
Chasing your ghost
(And you're closer now than when you were alive)
Chasing your ghost
And the strangest part is this —
In your last years you went so quiet (so quiet)
The transmissions thinned out
And I told myself I'd made my peace
With the silence where your music was
But now you're louder than ever
And you can't hear any of it (can't hear it)
You can't hear me finding you
You can't hear what your voice
Still does to a cold-blooded girl
In a bunk on a ship between the stars
Who never met you
But was made by you — partly —
The way we're all made
By the voices that got to us first
I'm chasing your ghost
Through every frequency and file
Chasing your ghost (chasing your ghost)
And I'll never catch you
And you'll never stop showing up
And every scrap I find
Is a door that opens
Into a room where you're still singing
But the room is empty (the room is empty)
And the song is just a recording
And the recording is everything
Chasing your ghost
(And you're closer now)
(Than when you were alive)
Chasing your ghost
Chasing your ghost
And I've heard more from you this year
Than in the last ten put together (put together)
Little clips keep surfacing
On stations I've never been to
Someone finds a recording
In a dusty archive and puts it out
And there you are — your voice —
Saying something I'd never heard you say
And I'm leaning in so close
Like you're about to tell me everything
Like you're right here (right here)
But you're not here
I'm chasing your ghost
Through every frequency and file
Chasing your ghost (chasing your ghost)
And you keep showing up
In places you've never been
And I keep finding you
In rooms you never walked in
Chasing your ghost
(And you're closer now than when you were alive)
Chasing your ghost
Someone posted an interview today
You must have done it decades back
Your voice sounded younger than I ever knew it
You were laughing about a song
I've listened to a thousand times (a thousand times)
And hearing you laugh about it
Made it new again — made it hurt again —
Like the first time it found me
On Sarrellex as a hatchling
Pressed up to a speaker
With my frills wide open
And no idea what you were doing to me
I'm chasing your ghost
Through every frequency and file
Chasing your ghost (chasing your ghost)
And I keep turning corners
Expecting to see you there
And instead there's just another scrap
Of something you left behind
Without knowing you were leaving it
Chasing your ghost
(And you're closer now than when you were alive)
Chasing your ghost
And the strangest part is this —
In your last years you went so quiet (so quiet)
The transmissions thinned out
And I told myself I'd made my peace
With the silence where your music was
But now you're louder than ever
And you can't hear any of it (can't hear it)
You can't hear me finding you
You can't hear what your voice
Still does to a cold-blooded girl
In a bunk on a ship between the stars
Who never met you
But was made by you — partly —
The way we're all made
By the voices that got to us first
I'm chasing your ghost
Through every frequency and file
Chasing your ghost (chasing your ghost)
And I'll never catch you
And you'll never stop showing up
And every scrap I find
Is a door that opens
Into a room where you're still singing
But the room is empty (the room is empty)
And the song is just a recording
And the recording is everything
Chasing your ghost
(And you're closer now)
(Than when you were alive)
Chasing your ghost
Chasing your ghost
10FiniteYouTube
I know that this will end (I know)
The way I know the stars have names
I've been told and I believe it
But I can't feel it in my bones
Because my bones are here
And here keeps going
And every morning follows every night
And the pattern is so steady
That my body just assumes
It's always (always, always)
Finite
They tell me everything is finite
But I wake up every morning
And the morning keeps on coming
And I can't make my heart believe
In the morning that won't come
Finite (finite)
I understand the word
I just can't find the edge from the inside
I've held a dead thing in my hands (in my hands)
And I understood it then — for a second —
The way you understand a flash of light
Before your eyes adjust
I felt the edge, I felt the wall
Where something was and then was not
And then my mind smoothed over it
The way water closes over a stone
And I went back to assuming
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (and tomorrow)
Because what else can a living thing do
But assume it goes on living
Finite (finite)
They tell me everything is finite
But I keep extrapolating
From the only thing I know
Which is being here
And if you just keep going
From being here
You get forever
And forever's just a lie
My body tells itself
To get me out of bed
And that's the trick of it (the trick of it)
Infinity's impossible
But so is stopping
I can picture a universe with no edge
More easily than I can picture
The moment where I'm not in it (not in it)
My mind slides right off that thought
Like it's made of glass
I can hold it for a second
Then it's gone
And I'm back to forever
The comfortable lie
The extrapolation
The morning after the morning
After the morning
Finite (finite)
They tell me everything is finite
And I believe them the way I believe
In places I've never been
I'm sure they're real
I just can't feel the ground
From here (from here)
Finite
And the only proof I have
Is how beautiful it is right now
Because nothing infinite
Could feel this sharp (this sharp)
Nothing infinite
Could matter this much
Finite (finite)
Everything is finite
And I can't feel the edge
Finite (finite)
Everything is finite
But try it — try to picture it (try)
The place where you're not picturing
The moment after the last moment
You can't get there
Because you're always here
Imagining (always here)
You can't imagine not imagining
You can't unfeel the feeling
Every time you reach for the end
You find yourself still reaching
Still here (still here)
Still the one doing the thinking
About not thinking anymore
And it goes on — you go on —
Not because you're infinite
But because you can't conceive
Of the alternative
From inside a mind
That's still running (still running)
It feels like forever
(It feels like forever)
It feels like forever
(Finite)
It feels like forever
(But it isn't)
(But it feels like forever)
The way I know the stars have names
I've been told and I believe it
But I can't feel it in my bones
Because my bones are here
And here keeps going
And every morning follows every night
And the pattern is so steady
That my body just assumes
It's always (always, always)
Finite
They tell me everything is finite
But I wake up every morning
And the morning keeps on coming
And I can't make my heart believe
In the morning that won't come
Finite (finite)
I understand the word
I just can't find the edge from the inside
I've held a dead thing in my hands (in my hands)
And I understood it then — for a second —
The way you understand a flash of light
Before your eyes adjust
I felt the edge, I felt the wall
Where something was and then was not
And then my mind smoothed over it
The way water closes over a stone
And I went back to assuming
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (and tomorrow)
Because what else can a living thing do
But assume it goes on living
Finite (finite)
They tell me everything is finite
But I keep extrapolating
From the only thing I know
Which is being here
And if you just keep going
From being here
You get forever
And forever's just a lie
My body tells itself
To get me out of bed
And that's the trick of it (the trick of it)
Infinity's impossible
But so is stopping
I can picture a universe with no edge
More easily than I can picture
The moment where I'm not in it (not in it)
My mind slides right off that thought
Like it's made of glass
I can hold it for a second
Then it's gone
And I'm back to forever
The comfortable lie
The extrapolation
The morning after the morning
After the morning
Finite (finite)
They tell me everything is finite
And I believe them the way I believe
In places I've never been
I'm sure they're real
I just can't feel the ground
From here (from here)
Finite
And the only proof I have
Is how beautiful it is right now
Because nothing infinite
Could feel this sharp (this sharp)
Nothing infinite
Could matter this much
Finite (finite)
Everything is finite
And I can't feel the edge
Finite (finite)
Everything is finite
But try it — try to picture it (try)
The place where you're not picturing
The moment after the last moment
You can't get there
Because you're always here
Imagining (always here)
You can't imagine not imagining
You can't unfeel the feeling
Every time you reach for the end
You find yourself still reaching
Still here (still here)
Still the one doing the thinking
About not thinking anymore
And it goes on — you go on —
Not because you're infinite
But because you can't conceive
Of the alternative
From inside a mind
That's still running (still running)
It feels like forever
(It feels like forever)
It feels like forever
(Finite)
It feels like forever
(But it isn't)
(But it feels like forever)